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Las Lugosi

  Life is a learned behavior.

Learn it well.

THE GATOR

There is nothing worse than a paper cut.  It just gets under your skin,

it festers, half the time you don't bother putting a band aid on it because it is not necessary, but every time you put your hands in your pocket, that sucker opens again and there you are, bleeding in the middle of the office.  Same with vacations.  They are kind of a necessary evil.  You have to take them, or you will go crazy at the office without a break.  But generally, vacations are never what you think they will turn out to be.  You will wind up running around, stressed out about the nightly rate the hotel quoted you versus what it actually ended up being, your credit card is stolen, the car's AC stops working in the middle of Florida in July, it is 100 degrees and muggy as hell.  Or, you constantly have to be on the hunt for a place to eat at with 3 kids, who all want different things, a spouse who is equally as stressed out as you are, not to mention the fact that you haven't even had the chance to crack open that killer book you wanted to read while relaxing on the beach.  Which, by the way, will never happen, because you are constantly stressed out about the various creatures in the water, all wanting to kill your kids, sunscreen, beer going stale in your bottle while screaming at your unruly brats to come back closer to the shore, fungus you picked up while rinsing the sand off your feet, sand all over and inside your stuff, including your underwear and shoes, forgotten maps, forgotten keys, forgotten purses, waterlogged iPhones, lost glasses, Oh, will this nightmare ever end so you can get back to your normal stress level dealing with a$$hole customers!  Or, you can always buy your own private island... and hope there are no killer alligators waiting for you there.  That's always an option, right?  Well... funny you should say that.